Things to understand about sex

• Pubes aren’t disgusting; once you’re a few years out of puberty you’ll figure that out.
• Nipples and the surrounding areola come in a variety of colours, shapes, sizes and textures. Once you see a few pairs you’ll figure that out.
• If you plan on using the same three sexual positions from every standard porn movie because the other ones are “gay”, or you are too busy shaking your head, you’re probably a boring lay.
• Just because you personally would prefer to do something harder or faster does not mean everyone would. In fact, I’d wager you could probably slow down a bit.
• If you know nothing and proudly proclaim to know something you’re more often than not solidifying the fact that you’re a fucking idiot.
• Porn is not real life.